My bumpy road to heaven

Image: My Stairway to Heaven –

I wrote in my previous text that I am so far from the 5D world that I don’t even know how to approach the subject. But in fact, I don’t know how close I am to 5D consciousness. I am part of it, but I don’t see my part in the whole. That’s because I’m still conditioned to this 3D matrix we live in. I have not said anything about many of my experiences to other people, because, especially for people living in Western democracies, certain experiences simply do not exist or are not considered relevant.

I have not even told my sisters that my mother appeared to me in a dream after her death. She was dressed in her red jumpsuit, and I had never seen her so happy and delighted before.

Nor have I talked to people about what happened to me when I had a stroke 44 years ago and was unconscious for a week: at one point I found myself in a very bright room with a wall that looked like a railway station locker. The room seemed empty at first, but a creature of light appeared from the back room. He seemed to know me. There was a slight feeling of disappointment in the air. I was curious to hear what would happen next. The being I encountered said in a matter-of-fact tone that they would ‘deep freeze’ me and I would wake up when better times came. These words best express what I ‘heard’ in that situation.

I was put in a ‘box’ where my only thought was how unfair it is to shelve people ‘to wait for better times’. When my box was opened I asked how long it had been. “X (?) years. If all goes well, only 5 years.” Over the years I have asked myself if he said 20, 40 or even 45 years. This happened when I was under 20, so when I was younger, I was inclined to believe that he had said 20 years. 40 and 45 years seemed like an eternity from that perspective. Anyway, I now feel like I am waking up to another reality.

Outside the Body

When I started my previous blog 10 years ago, I often had a clear feeling in the early morning hours that I was returning to my body from my nocturnal adventures. One morning I asked myself if I would be German, Chinese, English or Finnish today. When I woke up, it was almost a surprise to me that I was all of these in one body and that I could speak these languages.

One morning I heard someone calling my name and I looked back to see my ex-husband, who I married when I was in China. Our relationship had been very difficult. Although I wanted to help and support him in every way I could, he eventually committed suicide. My ex-husband’s suicide was a heart breaking, shocking waste of energy. On the face of it, he had all the ingredients for success, but he just couldn’t jump over his shadow (his ego).

Suddenly, my ex was standing in front of me, more alive and vibrant than ever. He said he wanted to talk to me. “But I can’t do it here” he said, pulling me behind a kind of curtain. When I woke up in the morning, I couldn’t remember anything of what he said to me, but I was very happy that everything was fine.

A week ago, after I published my text about letting my intuition take me where I need to go, I had a teleportation dream: I read some instructions and measured the room and its dimensions with my eyes. Suddenly I found myself in the living room of the person whose instructions I had read. He knew me and was amazed. “What are you doing here?” he asked. “I don’t know,” I replied. “I read your instructions and ended up here.”

Everything happened most naturally without any effort. I had the same feeling as when I was suddenly able to produce the necessary pressure to speak so that the consonants were pronounced more clearly. I wrote about my experience in a previous blog in January 2017 in the text Transforming World.
I had a similar experience in the early 1980s when I focused all my attention on my body and tried to feel the effect of relaxation exercises on my muscles. Surprisingly, the feeling of paralysis disappeared from my body for a moment. I wrote about this in March 2014 in the text Emotional Intelligence in Function. However, my experience of teleportation in a dream gave me most liberating feeling of effortless manifestation.

Our Experience as Part of Created Reality

I have erased the time with my ex-husband from my life as if nothing had happened. Very few people even know that I was married to a Chinese man in the 1990s. I made a fool of myself in front of my friends. I was warned and even saw a documentary, according to which 70% of Chinese men abuse their wives.

But I wanted to create something new. I had to accept that my relationship with André was just a friendship, even though I felt it was much more than that. I married my ex-husband to give him the opportunity to be independent and to fulfil himself as freely as I had experienced.

Things didn’t work out as I had thought, but my ex-husband was given the chance to become independent and fulfil himself. He graduated from the University of Helsinki with a Master’s degree in Social (Political) Sciences shortly before his death.

This has been something that I have not wanted to think about in any depth. Many years ago, I saw a video clip on YouTube someone had made walking in the woods. In the video, a woman and a little girl were walking down a forest path and the girl appeared to be levitating.

On the video’s discussion, a mother wrote that her daughter was also levitating, but because of the rules of conventionalism, they are not talking to anyone about it. However, we must be aware that this conventionalism are rules of this false 3D matrix, which we must let go of in order to become the best version ourselves.

Wake Up to Reality

We are told that we should respect other people and their decisions, but I think we should first respect ourselves and our own experiences. When I had a stroke and became paralysed my friends turned against me and let me hear what they thought about me: They said I was an arrogant asshole who despised other people. I had earned my paralysis because of my arrogant behaviour.

This was a shocking wake-up call for me. I considered myself shy and humble, because since childhood I had been used to thinking that I couldn’t even despise thrown-away-fruit on garbage dump. But it was clear that I myself had made my friends feel bad. I did not try to belittle their experience by explaining that they were jealous or anything like that. The fact was that I had not even tried to really connect with them.

Maintain Your Heart’s Focus

When we don’t understand something or can’t find common ground we tend to close our eyes to the facts and label events as ‘conspiracy theories’. However, even the events we do not understand are the experiences of some people. No one benefits from our outright dismissal of the unknown.

Often it is only through our good intentions that we connect with the unknown. However, we should never lose our point of focus, which is our higher self. Our essence is our inner navigator, our intuition, which guides us to all truth. If we lose ourselves we have nothing to give to anyone.

This is good to remember now when the web is full of 5D-related material and stories of star races already living in 5D consciousness. It makes little difference to our goals how diligently we study and analyse stellar races in 3D consciousness. What matters is the inner work, which is the influence of intuition (the Holy Spirit). We ourselves have to reach a higher level of consciousness in order to connect with ascended masters and the 5D star races.

Love Yourself

Christianity emphasizes love of neighbor and the worst offence today, especially in the West, seems to be: “You can’t love anyone but yourself!”, which is another way of saying that you are a selfish, abusive outcast. This is especially used by those close to you who try to manipulate you into acting against your intuition and your will. But there is another side to loving yourself.

I did not end my relationship with André because I did not love him. He was the best thing that had happened to me. I had the feeling that no one had ever loved me more unconditionally. He did everything for me. But at the same time he brought out aspects of me that made me feel very uncomfortable. It was easy to be lazy to be cared and pampered by someone else, especially when everyone thinks that you can’t do anything by yourself. But merely the thought that his family and friends didn’t see me as an independent person was unbearable to me.

I left him because I loved myself more than him. I thought, “I can’t make anyone happy unless I’m happy. I think this is the starting point of well-being: we can only share our own joy, happiness and abundance.

Be Your Own Saviour

The authors of the Bible distorted the teachings of Jesus, because for those in power, religion has been a way to keep people in line and to raise them as system- and authority-loving sheep. Not to empower them so that people see themselves as independent souls who take full responsibility for their actions and inactions and obediently follow their own intuition.

The cult of death, built around the supposed death of Jesus on the cross, has been the most effective in promoting this goal. The illusion of Jesus’ ‘salvation’ and the teaching that we are saved by the grace of Almighty God and cannot influence it by our actions has led most people to seek influence outside themselves.

Personally, since the 1980s, I have felt almost guilty about wanting to do everything the way I think is right without listening to others. Such an attitude is often seen as ego pride, which is a sin for a Christian. However, the Bible tells us to avoid sin and to listen to our hearts. I have thought that it cannot be a sin to do what I feel in my heart is right.

5D Focus

Over the last few months I have lost all interest in world politics. The war in Ukraine could not interest me less. Or it interests me enough to think what some reports say that Ukraine is the last stronghold of the Deep State-Cabal, and to take it down is not easy.
World leadership has never been entirely in the hands of heads of states and world politicians. That is why my interest has turned to exopolitics and specifically to the impact of extraterrestrial races on world politics. The greatest influence, however, is that of our ascended spiritual guides who follow life at the highest levels of consciousness.